I slapped this quick rendition of a blog, obsessiveness about being pixel perfect has always proved to be an issue for me. Ideas would flow into my mind and I would dwell on them thinking how amazing it would be to get these ideas off the ground and become financially stable on my own. But yet (much like my blog/portfolio website) it would sit and sit in the GitHub repository collecting dust and security warnings from packages around GitHub. So I decided I would delete my old repository and quickly create a simple page with all my posts.
My aim is to start building instead of always reading about new technologies, watching tutorials or doing courses. I've done enough of that and it is time I apply what I have learned to something I am passionate about. This blog is a step in the right direction. I did it I released a blog, all be it pretty basic but none the less its released and the functionality is there for me to post.
Lately I have been very lost, and somewhat in a bad spot mentally and physically. Health issues outside of my control have made life very difficult in the past few years along with loosing life long friends due to disagreements. But hey I believe its all part of life and I want to try see it more like that. Most of my life I have been waiting for that perfect opportunity to start a business, to start an application, to start a website and yet nothing. I find my self being very motivated and ready to go, I jump in and... and... overwhelm and doubt. Have been like this from a very young age. As soon as I stumble upon a problem I cannot solve I loose all motivation as I was raised like a "genius" instead of "keep failing" so when I fail I take it hard. But slowly I feel like I am able to turn that part around and switch my mentality to be more about failing more means I am always learning.
As I reflect where I have been, where I am and where I aim to be, I am able to start seeing more clearly where I want to be. Maybe not overnight or over a week but day by day I do those little nudges that compound over the years. Eating right and sleeping right have been things I have had great trouble with, and yet I was able to finally manage it. Cooking is not so bad and I have started to enjoy the process of it. It teaches me about failing all the time because as a new cook you really do not understand anything. What does medium to high mean? simmer? what? But I keep persevering and now I can cook a very tasty and healthy meals that do not require a lot of time and I owe it all to a cook book (Seriously just get a good cook book and take it a recipe a time).
FAIL, FAIL, FAIL and FAIL again. Keep failing, do not be afraid of failure! But I also want to post weekly, be it some tutorial or just a reflection post or anything really. This blog is my personal blog and I will treat is as it is.